I have never been in a bar brawl before. I’ve seen them but never been involved. That was until last week. We, meaning me and Joe were in Parati, a beach resort just south of Rio. There are many differences between Brazilians and Argies. Argies call Brazilians “monkeys”, a racist term. But after this bit of trouble, I am not so offended by the comment. Joe and I were having a few beers with these Israeli guys. Just chilling. Israeli guys aren’t big drinkers so they paid up and headed home. When Joe and I decided to leave, we asked for the bill and found it was twice the size it should be. The bar staff had put on a charge for entertainment. We asked “what entertainment?” they replied “the band.” we answered that we arrived after the band so didn’t think we should pay. This debate lasted a few minutes, and in the end we paid.
But then we noticed we were the only gringos in the bar and they had locked the door and had a big man standing in front. Hmmm They all seemed pretty drunk and started shouting. There were 7 men, a bar maid and me and Joe. Hmmm. could get a shoeing here. Then they started pushing, pointing. One push too much and we pushed back and then it started. But Brazilians have a different fighting culture to us English. They kick alot. That is their primary weapon. Takes abit of time to get used to. After a wrestling match between about four of us, we got the guy away from the door, unlocked it, while fending off this door man and ran. They chased us through the town, throwing stones and beer cans. What a waste. Finally we made it back to the hotel and calmed down over a cold beer. Bloody crazy. But that of course is their version.
What really happened is… Seeing we were in abit of trouble, we rolled up our sleeves, I picked out the biggest man and dropped him with one punch. While Joe worked over two guys in the corner, I found time to finish my beer. Then we turned to face the other 17 men. After a few minutes work, only the boss was left. Almost 7 feet, this weightlifter would need a tag team effort. I managed to get him in a full nelson while Joe worked over his ribs. We followed that with a double team clothesline. I rolled him onto a table and Joe piledrived him through it. After I dropped a flying elbow, Joe put him in the Boston Crab and got the submission victory. We surveyed the scene. 27 men lay groaning in pain. Just before we left, we got the barmaids number for a gang bang later. But that is another story….