Just saying hello

Goalkeeper’s friend and ginger hater Paolo Di Canio recently became the latest victim of Political Correctness. Cameras caught him innocently waving with a straight arm to cheering supporters in Lazio’s victory over arch-rivals Roma. This was merely a salute to the thronging crowds who wear masks on their faces due to the shocking pollution of modern Rome. The adoration of modern day footballers could be clearly seen when the gleeful masses responded with the same salute to their modern day gladiator.

People have unfairly pointed out that Di Canio had an aggressive scowl on his moisturised Italian mug but hey, after a difficult and long session, sweating and going up and down, I don’t look pretty either. Believe it please. Others have mentioned that Lazio were the love of former fatman and comedy dictator Benito Mussolini and the Di Canio salute was linked to those days. But come on that’s just a co-incidence and I ask you; how many times have you walked in to see Dr Cohen and greeted with a straight armed hello. hey? hey? Exactly.

So please, let’s stop all this childish name-calling. It’s getting out of hand. At this rate, I won’t be able to wear my SS uniform which I bought and have lovingly maintained. I’m going to the Weinstein’s big annual party in April, Pesach, I think he called it.

On the button Harry

Harry Redknapp, a man who knows the shady side of football. Big into transfers is Harry. Like the side payments. Its not news, ask West Ham or Portsmouth. Now old ‘Arry is at Southampton and looking to do some business.

“Defenders I need,” says ‘Arry.

Naturally Geordies jumped up and offered our entire defence. What are they to us eh? He may like an envelope or two but ‘Arry aint stupid.

But the former Portsmouth manager denied speculation he was interested in Newcastle centre-back Titus Bramble.

“I have not enquired about him,” he said. “But we need people with a bit of pace because this team has not got any really.”

Exactly right ‘Arry.

All in the name?

I’m Dan. Born with that name. It’s a good one I used to think. Easy to say and remember. Officially the name is Daniel but hey dan is cool, along with Danny, Danny boy, dan-o. Whatever. A name is a name I thought. Or is it?

While many nationalities believe blood type influences character and dates influence temperament, can a name have the same effect? Why do I ask? Well recently I’ve met two Dans other than myself. And I have found it hard to stay in the room with them. Do people feel that with me?

Dan the First was in Melbourne, Australia. I was pre-warned about him, hearing that many people can’t stand him, people like Kenny who likes everyone. Well it took about one hour and I just lost it, calling him every name under the sun. I couldn’t stand him.

Then, last weekend in Suwon, Korea, I met Dan the Second. Oh my God I can’t stand him. His weaselish charm, bobbing head. The way he doesn’t really listen to what u say. He has that vulture thing in him as well. Out for what he can get. Justifying it to himself that he’s actually doing others a favour. The guy’s an arse, plain and simple.

So what is it? The name? Or me being overly sensitive? I dunno. But I know I’ve gotta check myself. Be more sensitive to the way I am perceived by others. I am sure others don’t like. My brash, self-indulgent personality doesn’t help. But I’ll be watching from now on.