>Tip your hat

>Wahey!! Look at that. That ain’t me. Or even my work. No, no, no. That is the produce of Sarah and Scott early nights!! And Scotty’s best hip thrusts since that night on a Hong-dae dance floor.

Did you know that between 200-500million sperms are released in one…well,…release. Wow and they contain differing DNA (Don’t No Alphabet). But Scotty assures me they all support Sheffield United. Jesus does that mean I am a murderer? Newcastle United would be the best supported club in the land if…ahh go on, just one more. You know to get me eh? Little blighter.

It reminds me of the Billy Connelly joke about masturbation. He is 14 and the big ginger lad in school asks him in Maths class if he has done it yet? ‘Done what? You know, it! Dunno what you’re talking about’, replied Billy.

So at lunchtime they go to the bike sheds and both wank until they come. Fantastic feeling, Billy remembers it as. Back in class that afternoon, Billy is on cloud 9 but the big ginger lad tells him the bad news. ‘See, you only get 100. Anymore and you die.’ Well as Billy tells, ‘you don’t how scared I was when I wanked off for the 101 time!’

So that little’un up there is Baby G, of the Goring blend. And that’s not his little fella hanging off there guys. That’s called his umbilical cord. Can you give birth to shemales? I’ll have to wikipedia that.

>Now’s the Hos have gotta pay too


BUDAPEST (Reuters) – Hungarian prostitutes will have to get used to doing more paperwork after a court ruled they must have a tax number to pursue their trade.

A court in the southern town Pecs rejected a prostitute’s appeal against a 50,000 forint (125 pound) fine by the tax authority and said she should have had a tax number, judge Roza Meszar told the national news agency MTI.

The claimant, who was unnamed, argued a treaty signed by Hungary banned the registration of prostitutes, but the court ruled they still needed to pay taxes, must have a tax number and an entrepreneur’s licence.’

An entrepreneur’s licence? Does she do something I don’t know of?

Credit to the internet crawler Nath.

>Feeling big today?


Interesting stuff sent to me the other day. We’re just a little organisms beavering away on this little Earth, trying to get by, negoitate our problems and have a good time, and all the while around us, there is so much else out there. Or is there? Click the pics for a bigger view.

>Exit Poll


So the World Cup enters what Graham Taylor calls the second half of the tournament (thanks Graham for that) or as it is officially known as, the Second Round. England continues to struggle and Sven avoids brave decisions by changing the system instead of dropping people. Another Graham, our Poll ended his fleeting attempt to be a top grade (albeit along with hundreds of other referees) referee with a masterful display of school teacher arrogance and bluff. At least the other refs have the ludicrous Blatter rules in which football has taken over the rules of basketball, and touching the player with the ball is considered a foul. Good timing with Crouchy coming through.

Tonight the Swiss lived up to their boring Tag (see what I am doing there?) and produced a performance fitting with Sven’s half-time team talk; speechless. The Aussies were unlucky but failed to really go for it. France scrapped through and Korea got KO’d (down on one knee, yes! fisted raised). And the Lea Walker porno was a shocker. Horrible, horrible stuff.

Well life in England, like our team, is stumbling along, with little strategy and few tactics. I’ve started reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu to give me some clues into getting back into life. Travelling for most of the last year, I am being rather slow to get back into it. But like Big Brother, thankfully my dole period will end soon. I start on Sunday. Wish them luck.


>The Taiwanese government, in a PR exercise, gave the Senegalese football team $100,000 to make a stopover in the island republic on their way home. Since then, there have been allegations that the team hired thirty-seven prostitutes to come to the hotel where they were staying.

>A blessing in disguise?

>So England struggle again but survive again. Hargreaves, and I’ve championed him for years plays well as does Cole, Rooney is not today’s saviour and Owen is out the tournament. England don’t do things easily. Sven along with Steve ‘not the future of England surely?’ McClaren‘s decision to take only 4 strikers (including an unproven 17 year old and two unfit players) appears to have backfired. Or has it? As the article above describes, maybe this allows England to play to their strengths and dominates games rather than hang in there. Gerrard and Lampard got over 40 goals from midfield for their clubs last season so there is great potential with the proposed 4-5-1 formation. Also this takes away some decision-making from Sven who is showing himself tactically cautious. Now gets the defensive cover and England gets to drive forwards. This is all hopeful speculation, mind. And Sven gets to avoid making a choice between Gerrard and Lampard, s decision I’d have made in Gerrard’s favour long ago.

And good to see the some Scots aren’t just a bunch of Neanderthals, with the perennial chip on their shoulder. Independence couldn’t come sooner.