>Tip your hat

>Wahey!! Look at that. That ain’t me. Or even my work. No, no, no. That is the produce of Sarah and Scott early nights!! And Scotty’s best hip thrusts since that night on a Hong-dae dance floor.

Did you know that between 200-500million sperms are released in one…well,…release. Wow and they contain differing DNA (Don’t No Alphabet). But Scotty assures me they all support Sheffield United. Jesus does that mean I am a murderer? Newcastle United would be the best supported club in the land if…ahh go on, just one more. You know to get me eh? Little blighter.

It reminds me of the Billy Connelly joke about masturbation. He is 14 and the big ginger lad in school asks him in Maths class if he has done it yet? ‘Done what? You know, it! Dunno what you’re talking about’, replied Billy.

So at lunchtime they go to the bike sheds and both wank until they come. Fantastic feeling, Billy remembers it as. Back in class that afternoon, Billy is on cloud 9 but the big ginger lad tells him the bad news. ‘See, you only get 100. Anymore and you die.’ Well as Billy tells, ‘you don’t how scared I was when I wanked off for the 101 time!’

So that little’un up there is Baby G, of the Goring blend. And that’s not his little fella hanging off there guys. That’s called his umbilical cord. Can you give birth to shemales? I’ll have to wikipedia that.

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