Best night out
“Tonight we will all cry together, then we’ll drink something, then we’ll swap wives and then we’ll cry again” – Mehmet Scholl on celebrating his retirement.
The Herbert Fandel Award for taking German punctuality to absurd new heights
Referee Michael Weiner blew the whistle when poor Miroslav Klose was through on goal against Nürnberg
“We want to be champions, too. We just don’t know in which century” – Thomas von Heesen, Bielefeld manager. He resigned after seven games without a win in February.