>Its been another week. So much runs through my head but so little gets put down right now.

Just a quick diary check-up.

I’m in Stowmarket for my nephew Sam’s Christening on Saturday and then on Sunday back in London to meet up with old mate Liz who is suddenly in town from Japan. Next weekend I’ll be at Twickenham for England v Wales and a night out with Scotty for the first time in 18 months or so. ohh that’s gonna be good.

Beyond that, work is boring me to tears. I’ll have to look again. Outside projects, i.e. what I live for; travel, study, reading, writing, friends, football, music and learning are all going well. I just wish I had a more interesting job to justify to myself the hours I put in there. I could easily move up the food chain there. I just don’t want to. Tis difficult.

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>I almost went nuts today, wondering why I bothered with this job. My job is hardluy flash. I don it becuase its convenient and decently paid. But today I had a well-known epiphany, a moment of clarity so obvious and heart felt, it makes me wonder how I hadn’t cried out before. Not matter how much they pay me, its never enough. I’m not happy there. I am bored beyond my capacity to evoke. ( a serious failure in a writer eh?!!)

What I am doing? and why? Well I’m following procedures. There is no other way and in government procedeure is so long winded, the desks can barely hold up the files. I am doing regular work. Pointless tasks. Uncreative, unimportant slights on my dignity. I am making policy decisions for which outcome I don’t care. It’s not healthy for me or the recipient. Poor bastards but I just DON’T care.

Once my heart loosened the taps and I allowed a ludicrous smile to broaden out across my face and shoulders, down my spine to the tips on my soles, I felt clairvoyant. My eyes pervaded all those desperate souls around me, those who smile through their day despite knowing the uselessness of their role.

I didn’t feel like leading a revolution either. Must be post-Thatcher’s Britain where you just look after your own. But I am off, God I am off. My final words after today’s shift, Thank the fucking Lord.

A senior line manager made a comment to my line manager that I’d searched wikipedia about avocados. Al, a young guy near near me asked me to. and why not? Avocados are good for you. Does he know that? What an idiot. Do people not believe in goodness, health, positivity? These idiots sucking the vitality from people. Maybe he should eat more of these apparent delicacies. He looked old and withered. How my soul felt. But he still had the gusto and nerve to question my authority and dignity. *Put any highly insulting word here*

I’ve always been against Mp3s. though mainly when travelling. They pull the life out of inter-action, the whole point of travelling rather than being a tourist. Too many young travellers now skip from place to place like a tour, enacsed in their home world with their Mp3s and mobiles.

But at work, I dissolve into my Mp3. To keep me sane. When Cam generously walked to the station on Saturday to meet me, rather late, he told me he could see me from afar. I was dancing around to my music. Feeling alive, hypnotised by the energy, re-charged and present to face the next few hours of the joy of being.

>Some Lyrics for you

>Willy Mason’s Oxygen

I wanna be better than oxygen
So you can breathe when you’re drowning and weak in the knees
I wanna speak louder than Ritalin
For all the children who think that they’ve got a disease

If i’m afraid to catch a dream
I weave your baskets and i’ll float them down the river stream
Each one i weave with words i speak to carry love to your relief.

The Guillemots – Trains to Brazil

Its 1 o clock on a friday morning
I’m trying to keep my back from the wall
The prophets and their bombs have had another success
And i’m wondering why we bother at all

And i think of you on cold winter mornings
Darling they remind me of when we were at school
Nothing really mattered when you called out my name
In fact, nothing really mattered at all

And i think about how long it will take them to blow us away
But i won’t get me down, I’m just thankful to be facing the day

And i still think of you on cold winter mornings
Darling they’ll still remind me of when we were at school
When they could never have persuaded me that lives like yours
were the hands of these erroneous fools

And to those of you who moan your lives through one day to the next
Well let them take you next
Cos you live and be thankful you’re here

Johnny Cash – A Satisfied Mind

Money can’t buy back
Your youth when you’re old
Or a friend when you’re lonely
Or a love that’s grown cold

The wealthiest person
Is a pauper at times
Compared to the man
With a satisfied mind

>Cage Rage

>Jim and I covered this event this weekend. Press passes were garnered and I giddily interviewed some of my heroes on camera. The videos will be up soon. I stayed with James and his wife on the Friday in Ipswich, treated to a family BBQ and plenty of food and beer.

Saturday we crawled across London to the Cage Rage Show, baring our passes and gaining entry backstage, a good view of the cage and plenty of beer. As some know, its something I got into in Japan and my love has grown exponentially.

I stayed with Cam and Ellen that night in Old Street. Good mates. Optimistic.

>Times are a-changing

>I cycled through the sun and rain to get home today. A tree huddled over me, providing some respite from the worst of the JULY rain. I said July.

Having an over-active thyroid is a medical condition. I should know. My dear mother has one. But I have an overactive problems myself. An inability to say no. A recklessness that came only make you smile. LP knows what I am talking about. Jumping off platforms in Japan was odd. Cam and Ellen came tell you about the Seville swimming night. Pete still wonders what made me drink that pint. It leaves me tired. Hollow but content.

LP. I just mentioned him above. He emailed me last night. I’d just got back from a crazy Saturday night. See above. But LP’s email brought a out unabashed pride. That night, jumping off platforms, we were off to the Naked Man Festival. That bottle of Brandy in McDonalds had done the trick. I never made it there. But I did get arrested. While I was negotiating my way out of trouble with my charming slur, LP made it to a bar and met a girl. Not just any girl. That would be too easy. He met his wife. You may say; but Dan, they don’t get married until February 2008. That’s true. But I have faith. I always did.

Better get saving me pennies.

>Be warned: Not a pretty story.

>

A City of Lockport mother, who shortly left her two-year-old alone, made an emergency call Sunday afternoon after hearing her baby scream.

She ran to see what was wrong and discovered that her dog was sodomizing her toddler. The mother screamed, scaring the dog enough for it to run out of the house.

The baby required reconstructive surgery and was rushed to Women and Children’s Hospital in Buffalo. The dog is being held at the Niagara County SPCA for evaluation by an animal behavior specialist next week.

Lockport Police continue to investigate and, for now, are categorizing this as a freak “accident”. The toddler, while listed in serious condition, is improving.