>Sayonnara HSBC

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I used to love this bank. It’s grand standing across the world; the ubiquity and solidity. Even the simple motif in red against white appealed. But I have had endless problems on this trip.

It started with being unable to pay for a ticket on a French website and HSBC suspecting my card may be defrauded and thereby stopping my card when in fact they should notice by now, I travel and have used this card all over the world. Now I like this credit card protection even though I didn’t ask for it. It must serve some propose for many. It essentially means for me they stop payment when the card is used internationally. This is annoying enough. It has happened so many times now, I roll my eyes. This time I missed payment on my card and dread what’s next. The call centre.

As I am often across the world, these calls cost money. But what does that matter to HSBC. Having to go through the security is a normal obstacles these days before you can get to speak to anyone. Then for some reason they tell me my balance. And after a few minutes of this, I have often been told that ‘the call centre is closed right now and will be open…’ . Frustration wells up. I don’t like paperwork as it, but don’t make it a fruitless task for me.

If you finally get to talk to someone, you have inevitably got through to the wrong department and will be transferred after some more security questions. Why of course. I look at the dial. The cost is racking up as is my stress. Finally I get through to someone who after running through a script they have. They are taught to lead the conversation, a time which drives me insane. They seem intent on finishing rather than actually listening to the customer. I understand they get marked on asking certain questions but come on, they are smarter than this bullshit.

They agreed to put the card back on after this conversation. Bear in mind I am in central Sulawesi.

– Hi, yup. I understand I missed payment on my card. Can you transfer some money from one account to another and put my card back on line? I need that card. I am in central Sulawesi and need to get a flight out.

– Well Mr Adams, I can set up a direct debit for your credit card.

– No. I don’t want one. I havent missed before so just transfer the money please.
– But this may affect your credit rating.
– I don’t give a balls about my credit rating.

– Let me speak to my supervisor.
(more time and cost)
– Well as you have been a loyal customer for 14 years….
– Wait, wait. I have been a member since I was 7. Of the Midland Bank before it was taken over by HSBC. But you were to know that but HSBC would and should have that on their system. (I was a Griffin account member..remember that?)
– Well as you have been a loyal member…

– Can you transfer the money?
– Yes I can.

– Ok transfer £300 please

– Ok I have done that. It will take 3 days for the money to go through so you can use the card on Tuesday.
– What? I need the card today.
-But it takes 3 days for the funds to transfer.
– But you just did the transfer. You know the money is there and you it’s been transferred. I need that card today to buy some flights. I am in central Sulawesi. Just put the card back on.
– Ok Mr Adams. The card will be back on in 3 hours. Can I confirm your contact details.

– Well I am in Sulawesi so I contact you.

– Is your home number 79877987493?
– Yes
– And your mobile number 8743794853759847

– Oh come on. Are you listening? I am in Central Sulawesi. This call has cost me $20 so far. I will confirm those details when I got to the bank in person to close the account. Anything else?

– Umm no. Thank you for calling HSBC and…
– Thanks. Bye.

I should have said Sayonnara rather than Mata ne. If a Japanese person says sayonnara to you, they don’t expect to see you again!

So anyway, thats it for me and HSBC. It’s happened on every trip over the last few years and I dont need the stress. Dad was right about the charges too. Bastards.

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