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From: Nigerian Consortium

Subject: Attention lucky winner

Date: Tues, 23 Sep 2008 9:00:00

Dear Mr Ashley. Greetings. Firstly, I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make anyone apprehensive and worried, I assure you that all will be well at the end of the day.

Let me start by introducing myself to you. It may surprise you to receive this email from me, since there was no previous correspondence between us. I am the representative of a Nigerian Consortium. My purpose in contacting you is to help secure the football club you are in the process of running into the ground. My clients have £400m (or £480m, or £350m, depending on which paper you read) in an account at a Bank.

This Bank has issued me a notice to contact anyone in possession of a) a football club and b) a creeping sense of panic and desperation. Hence I am contacting you with regards to ensuring a happy and amenable swap. Just send us your bank details and football club and we will deposit £400m (or £480m, or £350m, depending on etc and so on) into your account. In return, you must give up this ridiculous notion of hiring Kenny Dalglish, Terry Venables or David O’Leary and, instead, give Newcastle hero Kevin Keegan his job back. We have a further £75m to deposit in his account so he can blow it on tat like he did at Manchester City. Oh, and he has to sign Yakubu, ‘cos he’s Nigerian.

If you wish to achieve this goal with me, kindly get back to me on my private email address: NigerianConsortium@hotmail.com.

Regards

Nigerian Consortium
Credit to Danny
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