New films

StarTrekIntoDarkness_FinalUSPosterStar Trek – Of course its ridiculous but its slick, the new character Khan is a quality character. Kirk is still a wanker and looks too young. Spock is still annoying, still getting it on with Uhura, thats not very logical and now remarkably up for a fight with Khan (completely illogical). The plot is fairly predictable (military man wants to save the world via starting a war) but it passes the time well and stands up as a no-nonsense piece of nonsense.

Killing Them Softly – Christ there was a lot of fucking swearing and motherfucking violence in this film. It essentially has three fucking elements. Two shitheads are paid to do a fucking robbery. The prelude to it features long ass dialogue which is usually cuntingly welcomed but for fuck sake its too bloody showy here. The two assholes set up Ray ‘I didn’t do fucking anything’ Liotta (almost a cameo) and beat his patchy face to a bloody fucking end. Brad ‘show me the motherfucking money’ Pitt then arrives in a long cameo at the behest of James ‘I threaten and fuck whores and talk about it a lot’ Gandolfini and shoots everyfuckingbody. The names clearly are in it to get this shit made. Pitt also produced it and the director is fairly shitting stylish, a lot of slow-motherfucking mo camera work etc but its he style over substance. 97minutes is fucking and shittingly welcomed. At 2 hours there would be no character left alive. Cocks and shitnuts. And tits.

Man of Steel – crash, bang, wallop, no laughing. city destroyed. flying man.

The_Place_Beyond_the_Pines_PosterThe Place Beyond The Pines – Ryan Gosling specialises in standing there stoned with a slightly bemused look on his face probably because he knows the girls will still love him and he is getting paid for this. However he picks good films and plays the straight man, so straight he might be made of cardboard, very well. That didn’t make sense but this naturalistic film does. It is very good.

Side by Side – documentary led Keanu Reeves on the evolution of the the film camera from photochemical to digital. He interviews a fair few titans and doesn’t get annoying in any sense. The documentary is revealing even for someone who couldn’t give a flying fuck. Reeves speaks his way through the film, in the same way he speaks his way through his films but this time he is more engaging.

Oblivion – This film looks great. I even like Cruise in it. As a film, its light-weight. Despite having plenty of ideas, at the end you remember visuals far over the plot whatever that was.

Bernie_film_posterBernie – Richard Linklater has made some great little films. EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THE SUNRISE/SUNSET/MIDNIGHT TRILOGY. If you didn’t know, the third and final film was released last month. Here he covers the quirks and sensibilities of a small town caught up in the murder of a local millionairess. Bernie, played straight and well by Jack Black is the local town do-gooder but also the murderer. How the town reacts is the quiet and quirky focus. Well-worth seeing and again Matthew McConaughey who is finally relaxing his acting muscles over his biceps in Killer Joe, Mud and Magic Mike albeit always playing the Texan.

The Impossible – …. to watch it without your mind wandering. Based on a true story during the tsunami, its well-staged and dramatic etc but as you know the entire plot through to the end, the action has to be exceptional to hold your attention. It isn’t.

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